사건 개요: 개가 Dognition의 소셜 채널(social channels)에 고양이를 들여보낸 것에 대한 사과문
사과 내용 (Apawlogy)
"Doggone it! I apawlogize for letting the cat into the Dognition social channels, dear humans." — (인간들에게 Dognition 소셜 채널에 고양이를 들여보낸 점에 대해 사과함)
"I was having a ruff day." — (힘든 하루를 보내고 있었음을 언급)
"My stomach was growling, and the cat offered me a bacon-flavored pupsicle." — (배가 고픈 상태였는데 고양이가 베이컨 맛 펍시클을 제안했다고 함)
"He seemed nice, but he was just pulling my leash!" — (고양이가 친절해 보였으나 사실은 자신을 속이고 이용했음을 깨달음)
"Furgive me — I’m pawsitively embarrassed! I woof you! Please furgive me!" — (용서를 구하며 부끄러움과 애정을 표현)
고양이에게 속은 경위
"Look, I know what you’re thinking. 'Dog, how could you let a cat — a cat! — onto the blog?'" — (인간들이 왜 고양이를 블로그에 들였는지 의아해할 것임을 인지)
"In my defense, he wore a lab coat. He had a clipboard. He said his name was 'Science Cat' and that he had been peer-reviewed." — (고양이가 실험 가운을 입고 클립보드를 들고 있었으며, 자신을 'Science Cat(과학 고양이)'이라 소개하고 동료 검토를 거쳤다고 주장했기 때문에 믿었다고 해명)
개로서의 본능과 경고 신호
"I am a very trusting animal. That is literally my whole thing." — (자신은 본래 신뢰가 많은 동물임을 강조)
사후에 인지한 고양이의 수상한 징후들:
The tail flicking (꼬리를 찰싹거리는 행동)
An “Apawlogy” Letter from Dog — Dognition Blog · 명견에픽
"The way he kept knocking my water bowl off the counter 'for research.'" — (고양이가 '연구'를 명목으로 물그릇을 계속 카운터에서 떨어뜨린 것)
"The moment he asked whether the Wi-Fi password was DOGSRULE so he could 'fact-check' me." — (고양이가 '팩트 체크'를 하겠다며 Wi-Fi 비밀번호가 'DOGSRULE'인지 물어본 것)
"Classic cat energy." — (이 모든 것이 전형적인 고양이의 특성임을 언급)
사죄의 방식 및 요구사항
"So today, on this most solemn of holidays (April 1st), I am here to grovel." — (4월 1일 만우절을 맞아 엎드려 사죄함)
"I have chewed a slipper of contrition." — (회개의 의미로 슬리퍼를 씹음)
"I have rolled over three times." — (세 번 구르기를 시전)
"I have offered my belly to any human who will accept my apawlogy." — (사과를 받아줄 인간에게 배를 보여줌)
요구사항: 작은 비스킷 한 조각과 Dognition Instagram 계정의 관리자 권한 복구
고양이에 대한 경고
"And to my cat colleague: this is not over." — (고양이 동료에게 아직 끝난 것이 아님을 경고)
"Next April 1st, I am coming for the newsletter." — (내년 4월 1일에는 뉴스레터를 노릴 것이라고 선언)
기타 정보
P.S. Happy April’s Fools Day from Dognition! (Dognition에서 전하는 만우절 인사)
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An “Apawlogy” Letter from Dog
Dognition April 1, 2014
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Doggone it! I apawlogize for letting the cat into the Dognition social channels , dear humans. I was having a ruff day. My stomach was growling, and the cat offered me a bacon-flavored pupsicle. He seemed nice, but he was just pulling my leash! Furgive me — I’m pawsitively embarrassed!
I woof you! Please furgive me!
Look, I know what you’re thinking. “Dog, how could you let a cat — a cat! — onto the blog?” In my defense, he wore a lab coat. He had a clipboard. He said his name was “Science Cat” and that he had been peer-reviewed. I am a very trusting animal. That is literally my whole thing.
In hindsight, there were warning signs. The tail flicking. The way he kept knocking my water bowl off the counter “for research.” The moment he asked whether the Wi-Fi password was DOGSRULE so he could “fact-check” me. Classic cat energy. I should have known.
So today, on this most solemn of holidays (April 1st), I am here to grovel. I have chewed a slipper of contrition. I have rolled over three times. I have offered my belly to any human who will accept my apawlogy. In exchange, I ask only for a small biscuit and the return of my administrative privileges to the Dognition Instagram account.
And to my cat colleague: this is not over. Next April 1st, I am coming for the newsletter.
-Dog
P.S. Happy April’s Fools Day from Dognition!
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